A friend has come to me who is going through more hard times then any man should have to face at once. A divorce, a losing custody battle for his son, a break up, jobless and living with his mom…this man is going through more than any man should at once. My heart goes out to this man greatly and I wish I could do so much more for him, but for now I have only this to offer:
Dear friend,
Life will drag you down and keep dragging you down, but rest assured that there is a bottom. I believe my good man that you have reached that bottom. I know it’s very cliché but there is only one way to go from there…up. The other option really is not an option and should never be even considered. You are a stronger man then you realize it’s time to tap into that strength and pull yourself out of this very deep, dark hole you’re in. it’s time to grasp on to the last bit of light you have left in that hole: your friends and one that you probably don’t believe in, but I promise he believes in you. Grasp onto that light and use it to find your way out. No man is completely strong enough to pull themselves out alone.
I know you have some good friends out there who will do anything they can for you; we all feel your pain. But like you we need help to get you out as well….we need you to be strong and tell us the way so we can guide you. You are still a young man with lots of potential left. Look to that potential , think of the things you still want to do with your life no matter how farfetched they may seem, now is the perfect time to reach for them, no matter what it takes.
Pain is mostly self created my friend and does not last forever trust me I know this better than most people out there except for maybe you. So we understand each other at least in that area. Take the hands that are reaching out to you my friend and grip those hands tight. There is a lot more people out there that love you and care for you then you think. It’s time to realize this and look to those people. We will be here for you. Trust in that.
Good luck my good friend, I’m praying for you…
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Trust, when no reason can be found..
After years of mistrust, years of lies, sneaking and hiding things that she knows is wrong and can destroy her marriage. How do you trust that person after only a few months? When she does seem to be truthful for the first time in many years you wake up in the morning realizing that after all these years of pain and lies you just don’t know how to cope with that person actually telling the truth.
Yet, that person still is using the same tools she used before to cheat, hide and lie to you for years….how do you deal with it? How do you trust that person. It’s against human nature to blindly trust another human…no matter how much you love them it’s a battle every single day. An internal battle that goes on and on and on with no resolve in site.
When she has several guys on her phone list that you don’t know, half her friends on her facebook you don’t know with all but 2 are guys, how do you cope? Specially, when you over heard one of those “friends” say things that no man should say about another man’s wife. Especially when the husband is reading everything. When you ask that woman to not talk to that person anymore because it makes you insanely uncomfortable and yet she ignores you and talks to him more then another friend…how do you keep sanity? How do you trust?
Let’s say there is another avenue she used to talk quietly behind your back and meet all these guys, something she did for years to even ignore her family 7 days a week. After it nearly brakes up the marriage for good she stops for 1 month but then gets back on that avenue and is threatening to do it yet even more from the agreed time even though it kills you inside knowing she’s doing it because you just can’t trust her no matter how hard you try.
The point I’m getting at is, yes we are slaves to our own minds, our own short comings. It takes a strong man to realize his own short comings and to strive to fix them. I know I should trust her. I know I should blindly trust her even though she refuses to give me any breaks and just makes it harder for me. I’m trying real hard every single flipping day I try. I guess when you love someone enough you will do almost anything for them, even trust them when there is no reason to trust them. When she goes out most weekends with her “brother” and all his friends to bars/ clubs and where ever else while I stay home trust with the kids is insanely hard but I know that I HAVE to put on a smile and ask her how her night went and give her a kiss when she finally gets home. I just simply have to love her, and if things get out of hand simply sit down with her and talk to her. That’s the best thing we can do guys is find a neutral place and just talk…don’t accuse, don’t yell, don’t blame….just talk….and trust.
One of us has to be the stronger person. Might as well be me…iv had enough practice in it. The plane simple truth is…I love her more than anyone else in this world, so I HAVE to be the strong one. And I do it with a smile and trust.
Yet, that person still is using the same tools she used before to cheat, hide and lie to you for years….how do you deal with it? How do you trust that person. It’s against human nature to blindly trust another human…no matter how much you love them it’s a battle every single day. An internal battle that goes on and on and on with no resolve in site.
When she has several guys on her phone list that you don’t know, half her friends on her facebook you don’t know with all but 2 are guys, how do you cope? Specially, when you over heard one of those “friends” say things that no man should say about another man’s wife. Especially when the husband is reading everything. When you ask that woman to not talk to that person anymore because it makes you insanely uncomfortable and yet she ignores you and talks to him more then another friend…how do you keep sanity? How do you trust?
Let’s say there is another avenue she used to talk quietly behind your back and meet all these guys, something she did for years to even ignore her family 7 days a week. After it nearly brakes up the marriage for good she stops for 1 month but then gets back on that avenue and is threatening to do it yet even more from the agreed time even though it kills you inside knowing she’s doing it because you just can’t trust her no matter how hard you try.
The point I’m getting at is, yes we are slaves to our own minds, our own short comings. It takes a strong man to realize his own short comings and to strive to fix them. I know I should trust her. I know I should blindly trust her even though she refuses to give me any breaks and just makes it harder for me. I’m trying real hard every single flipping day I try. I guess when you love someone enough you will do almost anything for them, even trust them when there is no reason to trust them. When she goes out most weekends with her “brother” and all his friends to bars/ clubs and where ever else while I stay home trust with the kids is insanely hard but I know that I HAVE to put on a smile and ask her how her night went and give her a kiss when she finally gets home. I just simply have to love her, and if things get out of hand simply sit down with her and talk to her. That’s the best thing we can do guys is find a neutral place and just talk…don’t accuse, don’t yell, don’t blame….just talk….and trust.
One of us has to be the stronger person. Might as well be me…iv had enough practice in it. The plane simple truth is…I love her more than anyone else in this world, so I HAVE to be the strong one. And I do it with a smile and trust.
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